total nicht angesagt #3 picnic – 17.07.2016



Someone eats a lot of cheese.
Someone asks whether the eggs are hard-boiled.
Someone has a hangover.
Someone places their right hand on my left shoulder blade.
Someone tiny carries a really tall one.
Someone sits down in a cross-legged position.
Someone bought seven blankets at “Onkel Tokay’s Bazar”.
Someone rolls around the grass laughing.
Someone brings her two kids along.
Someone eats half of a jar of olives.
Someone is a kid.
Someone wants a child.
Someone learns how to open a bottle of beer with a spoon.
Someone does not eat all the food on his or her plate.
Someone forgets to eat.
Someone looks around and does not know how to choose where to go next.
Someone enjoys the art-free-blanket.
Someone plays the trumpet.
Someone notices the veins on the trumpet player’s throat.
Someone looks over to another blanket and would prefer to be there, but can’t leave his blanket (out of politeness).
Someone licks the watermelon juice off his fingers.
Someone is embarrassed because there is way too much food.
Someone starts whining.
Someone carries someone else’s child.
Someone stumbles and trips.
Someone mistakes a hammer for bread.
Someone is afraid to roll the dice.
Someone leaves early.
Someone arrives late.
Someone never showed up.
Someone brought a cake.
Someone didn’t bring anything.
Someone brought his lover.
Someone feels bad about having a picnic while the world goes crazy.
Someone feels terrible about everything that is happening outside of this bubble.
Someone brought her girlfriend.
Someone never wants this to end.
Someone eats with her eyes closed.
Someone does not know what to do with herself.
Someone explains why a Tamagochi is called Tamagochi.
Someone talks to someone he has never talked to before.
Someone is very pregnant.
Someone else is very pregnant too.
Someone is humming because the noodle salad is so delicious.
Someone eats an egg.
Someone is running away.
Someone can taste that the fruit was cut on a chopping board on which onions were chopped on.
Someone is carried on the back of an artistic director.
Someone is carried in someone else’s arms.
Someone is wearing his new friend’s lipstick.
Someone is wearing a Portuguese scarf.
Someone is wearing a hat someone else brought along.
Someone is injured.
Someone is collecting trash in a blue plastic bag.
Someone asks when we will go home.
Someone is smoking a cigarette.
Someone never moves to another blanket.
Someone asks for a hug.
Someone is always there but no one knows her name.
Someone is taking pictures.
Someone plays an unknown instrument.
Someone feels uncomfortable.
Someone is running towards an arriving family.
Someone pretends that it is a hot summer’s day.
Someone asks whether “this is vegan”.
Someone learns that you might get wet socks if you take off your shoes at a German picnic.
Someone cannot find their bag.
Someone asks someone to dance a waltz with her.
Someone is in love with the word “picinici”.
Someone thinks this is artifarti.
Someone holds her god child.
Someone runs around scared to go hungry.
Someone wants to take their clothes off but doesn’t.
Someone is passing by with a dog.
Someone does not drink his opened beer.
Someone calls asking where we are.
Someone has never been to this part of town.
Someone immediately knows that someone else is Danish too.
Someone talks about her experience of taking the pill.
Someone is a medium.
Someone hasn’t had sex in a long time.
Someone talks about Japan.
Someone has been to Japan.
Someone is holding a skull in his hands.
Someone says strawberries are nuts.
Someone calls hens a “sperm bank”.
Someone feels the grass between his naked toes.
Someone is melancholic.
Someone has a rant.
Someone opened a packet of crisps before the picnic even started.
Someone keeps on asking where the guests are.
Someone wears a shirt with an imaginary map on it.
Someone needs to pee.
Someone wears a turban.
Someone wears a blue dress and red socks.
Someone asks someone else if she could get off her coat because she is freezing.
Someone is not feeling cold.
Someone notices that a lot of leftovers have been used for the picnic.
Someone arrives with a shopping trolley.
Someone forgets to say goodbye.
Someone greets someone else two times.
Someone offers someone else a lighter.
Someone picks up the plates.
Someone only realizes that there is coffee when the picnic is nearly over.
Someone distributes the food.
Someone feels disgusted about paper plates.
Someone talks about the funding procedures in Brussels.
Someone eats the last Bavarian sausage.
Someone baked a crumble.
Someone is already drunk.
Someone is yawning.
Someone writes down a score.
Someone forgets what she wanted to say.

Greta Granderath & Annika Scharm


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